Dear God:
I would've written to Santa but I think this is more your sort of thing.
Is there any chance of getting you to send The Rapture for Christmas this year? Christmas Eve, Rapture time. That means I'll be able to get up Christmas morning to find you've swept these insane, fundamentalist bastards completely off my planet. Then, once they're gone, fixing the world's problems should be a snap for the rational people who'll be left.
I know this is asking a lot but, while you're at it, could you vacuum up fundamentalists of all stripes? You know, take all the nutjobs - Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Shinto - the lot.
Not only will you scrape that evangelical shit off our boots but you'll turn every agnostic into a true believer - just like that!
Thanks Big Guy, and I hope you have a very merry Christmas.
I would've written to Santa but I think this is more your sort of thing.
Is there any chance of getting you to send The Rapture for Christmas this year? Christmas Eve, Rapture time. That means I'll be able to get up Christmas morning to find you've swept these insane, fundamentalist bastards completely off my planet. Then, once they're gone, fixing the world's problems should be a snap for the rational people who'll be left.
I know this is asking a lot but, while you're at it, could you vacuum up fundamentalists of all stripes? You know, take all the nutjobs - Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Hindu, Shinto - the lot.
Not only will you scrape that evangelical shit off our boots but you'll turn every agnostic into a true believer - just like that!
Thanks Big Guy, and I hope you have a very merry Christmas.
Hi there;
ReplyDeleteThanks for the letter. The rapture was last week. I've got all the good ones here.
Ta ta!
The Big Guy
You leave the Buddhists. They're kinda cool.
ReplyDeleteYou're right there Jymn. I only included the nutjobs.
ReplyDeleteNice one ;-)
ReplyDelete