Connie Black Flips his Wig

Why does he keep using "us" when he's referencing the Canadian people? He left "us" when he renounced his Canadian citizenship in order to become a British citizen entitled to claim a seat in Britain's House of Lords. By the way, isn't he somehow AWOL, absent without leave, from that elevated post on the other side of the pond? Or does his stretch in an American greybar hotel put his very lordship in jeopardy if he again sets foot in Britain's upper chamber?

Conrad is, however, an enthusiastic pseudo-Canadian and it's from this ersatz perch that he has opined on exactly what Trudeau the younger must do to put Canada once again on an even keel.

Black begins by complimenting Trudeau on achieving a real majority, reminiscent of Mulroney's electoral triumphs, and not the wee majority held by the dastardly Harper for just one term. Having done that, Lord Black of Piddlepuddle turns truly unhinged.

Here are some of the highlights. A modest wealth tax on high net worth people that would not be collected. The government wouldn't get the exigible money but the taxpayer would apply it to innovative means to reduce poverty. What could possibly go wrong with that?

Connie calls for a doubling in size of the Canadian Armed Forces because he read somewhere that bloated military outlays - not frivolous distractions like replacing collapsing infrastructure - are the best form of stimulus spending. And, with a nod to Hugo Boss, Black wants Canada's fashion bright lights to design really neat uniforms for all those soldiers, something that speaks of style, sizzle.

But wait, there's more. The old jailbird wants major change in the way we're governed. No more prime minister. An elected president instead, one who would double as our governor general.  I won't get into his convoluted ideas about Senate reform.

There is one area in which Black does have some expertise - prison reform. Here he wants non-violent offenders (such as himself) to avoid imprisonment altogether but, instead, to "contribute their work and live in freedom in Spartan circumstances" but with provisions for a quickie on the weekends.