A glance at the morning headlines found several items asking if Canada should have a "Stephen J. Harper International Airport." Sure, why not.
A short runway, maybe 1,800 feet all in, made up of broken concrete and asphalt to resemble the decay in our other national infrastructure. For overshoot protection, an emergency bitumen tailing pond shall be constructed at either end. Completely deregulated. No approach aids, no ILS, nothing. You're on your own at Harper International. There will be a tower. It will be unstaffed in the style of west coast Coast Guard facilities.
No terminal, no skyways. Arriving passengers will use emergency evacuation chutes and proceed to stand beneath the hold to catch their luggage. Those wishing to avoid full cavity search security will have twelve minutes to exit the airport perimeter fence.
In keeping with the theme of Harper International, there will be no access roads to the airport. That would be too much of a concession to vision. Access to the nearest town will be by foot along a pipeline trail.
As you can tell, I haven't fully thought this through. Your turn. What do you think would be fitting for Harper International?
Few things would make me happier than seeing Harper International. We don't name airports after living people.
ReplyDeleteThe no fly list should include everyone who walks thru the doors.
ReplyDeleteExcellent observation, Anon.
ReplyDeleteDana, there will be no doors.
could it be built cool hand luke ditch style
ReplyDeleteby ex-harper convicts
after the treason trials?
It would need a fitting airport code. How about "YUK"?
ReplyDeleteit will require alot of manpower, you know with tanks, military gunmen and snipers:P
ReplyDeleteComing from the same mainstream media hacks, I'm not surprised, but hopefully this never 'flies'.
ReplyDeleteOf course, an insane asylum or swamp named after Herr Harper might be a fitting tribute.
And of course we need not to offfend our Arab friends, as you get SHIA from Stephen Harper International Airport, so in the spirit of good will and accuracy we need to call it Stephen Harper International Terminal. That acronym fits far better IMHO.
ReplyDeleteLove it! and that good old dry Canadian sense of humour. Problem is all this would just fly over the head of Harper, the one with absolutely no sense of humour. Gawd, his personal life must be soooo boring.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous - swamps are wonderful places please do not associate one with Harper, besides he'd want to fill it in
ReplyDeleteHarper singing beatle songs, constantly played over the loudspeaker.
ReplyDeleteBring your own pilot.
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ReplyDeleteThe day we put the Lester B back on the board at yyz aka "Pearson International" I'll think about naming another airport.
ReplyDeleteWell I have a better idea for his name, we are working on sewage treatment plants on Vancouver Island and we could name one after Harper, he should feel right at home circling the drain watching his career get the proverbial flush.
ReplyDeleteNot only an airport, an airline. The Brand is built around the flight attentants. First one already hired.
ReplyDeletehttps://twitter.com/ficklesonance/status/658844391289835521
Or you could sign this petition instead.
ReplyDeleteAnyong said: Where a person was born is where a person is from. It is really humorous to know Albertans consider people who have moved into the province as "transients" except for Mr. Harper of course. Wouldn't it be more accurate to name a street after him? Let's say "Harper's Way"?
ReplyDeleteAnyong said: Since we know this, why would Canadians want an airport named after him.
ReplyDeleteBanks got $114B from governments during recession
Support for banks 'more substantial than Canadians were led to believe': CCPA report
Actually, I think the fact that you have not thought this through completely is very appropriate.
ReplyDelete