A gaggle of Christian conservatives is fed up with Jesus and all his silly, liberal ways. So they're writing a new Bible, one in which Jesus is edited into one of them, a conservative.
Screw biblical inerrancy, Jesus was wrong. That line, "forgive them Father, for they know not what they do"? Wrong, wrong, wrong. Never should've said it. Doesn't belong in a conservative Bible at all. It's gotta go. From AlterNet:
In an effort to rid the Good Book of "liberal bias," the group has set up the Conservative Bible Project, which aims to rewrite the Bible from a modern, conservative perspective.
"Liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations," the project's Web site asserts.
...The "forgive them father" quote "is a favorite of liberals but should not appear in a conservative Bible," Conservapedia states.
And evidently many of Jesus' other teachings -- from the "turn the other cheek" lesson, to his disdain for profiteering -- will also no longer be acceptable in the conservative Bible.
"Socialistic terminology permeates English translations of the Bible, without justification," the Web site states -- a strange assertion, given that English versions of the Bible date back at least to the 16th century, while socialism as a concept was formed in the 18th century.
..."The insane hubris of this really staggers the mind," writes Rod Dreher at Beliefnet. "These right-wing ideologues know better than the early church councils that canonized Scripture? They really think it's wise to force the word of God to conform to a 21st-century American idea of what constitutes conservatism? These jokers don't worship God. They worship ideology."
I think this is wonderful. The nutty Christian Right tacitly admitting Jesus, the man they worship, call Son of God, and vow to obey, was plainly a liberal. So instead of changing their ways to be closer to God, a liberal, they're going to change God (or at least his son) to reflect their image.
It was bound to happen. This sort of thing inevitably happens when you let crazy people loose, especially crazy fundamentalists (of any faith).
Screw biblical inerrancy, Jesus was wrong. That line, "forgive them Father, for they know not what they do"? Wrong, wrong, wrong. Never should've said it. Doesn't belong in a conservative Bible at all. It's gotta go. From AlterNet:
In an effort to rid the Good Book of "liberal bias," the group has set up the Conservative Bible Project, which aims to rewrite the Bible from a modern, conservative perspective.
"Liberal bias has become the single biggest distortion in modern Bible translations," the project's Web site asserts.
...The "forgive them father" quote "is a favorite of liberals but should not appear in a conservative Bible," Conservapedia states.
And evidently many of Jesus' other teachings -- from the "turn the other cheek" lesson, to his disdain for profiteering -- will also no longer be acceptable in the conservative Bible.
"Socialistic terminology permeates English translations of the Bible, without justification," the Web site states -- a strange assertion, given that English versions of the Bible date back at least to the 16th century, while socialism as a concept was formed in the 18th century.
..."The insane hubris of this really staggers the mind," writes Rod Dreher at Beliefnet. "These right-wing ideologues know better than the early church councils that canonized Scripture? They really think it's wise to force the word of God to conform to a 21st-century American idea of what constitutes conservatism? These jokers don't worship God. They worship ideology."
I think this is wonderful. The nutty Christian Right tacitly admitting Jesus, the man they worship, call Son of God, and vow to obey, was plainly a liberal. So instead of changing their ways to be closer to God, a liberal, they're going to change God (or at least his son) to reflect their image.
It was bound to happen. This sort of thing inevitably happens when you let crazy people loose, especially crazy fundamentalists (of any faith).
7 comments:
Sounds reasonable. So they will change it to:
"nuke them Father, for they know not what they do"?
I was thinking of something along the same lines, Le Daro, when I saw your comment above. Mine is: Nuke them Father and we will blame it on the Liberals.
You know what they say: Great minds think alike, but fools seldom differ.
Maybe these fundie nutjobs should just abolish the New Testament outright. After all, the really good stuff - revenge, slaughter, barbarism - is in the Old Testament anyway. But wait, then they wouldn't be Christian. Then again, who ever said these reprobates were actually Christian?
The thing we have to be aware of is some of these people could become the leaders of their country.....then what? Hitler all over again? A. Morris
What do you mean, leaders of "their" country. We're the country with the fundamenalist at the helm.
Anon 11:22 AM, thank you for your kind remarks. Your comment is further improvement and brings the Bible into 21st century.
"What do you mean, leaders of "their" country. We're the country with the fundamenalist at the helm."
4:06 PM, October 07, 2009
Just the wrong choice of words....We are already experiencing that. A. Morris
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