It's Time to Worry About FDS

Our Furious Leader suffers from FDS and so do a good many of his supporters. It's an affliction as curious as it is ancient.

FDS, or "faith-derangement syndrome," was discussed in a recent item at Salon.com exploring the derangement of America's notorious Supreme Court judge, Antonin Scalia.  What is FDS?  The signs are unmistakable.

Sufferers of faith-derangement syndrome (FDS) exhibit the following symptoms: unshakable belief in the veracity of manifest absurdities detailed in ancient texts regarding the origins of the cosmos and life on earth; a determination to disseminate said absurdities in educational institutions and via the media; a propensity to enjoin and even enforce (at times using violence) obedience to regulations stipulated in said ancient texts, regardless of their suitability for contemporary circumstances; the conviction that an invisible, omnipresent, omniscient authority (commonly referred to as “God”) directs the course of human and natural events, is vulnerable to propitiation and blandishments, and monitors individual human behavior, including thought processes, with an especially prurient interest in sexual activity.


Secondary symptoms exhibited by sufferers of FDS comprise feelings of righteousness and sensations of displeasure, even outrage, when collocutors question, reject or refute the espousal of said absurdities. Tertiary symptoms, often present among individuals self-classifying as “evangelicals”: Duggar-esque hairdos and Tammy Bakker-ian makeup, preternaturally sunny dispositions and pedophiliac tendencies, sartorial ineptitude and obesity.

Obviously, Sideshow Steve and Company, don't have all of the symptoms - not that we know of - but they sure fit the overall profile.