Tuesday, September 26, 2017

He's Baaack! Pastor Jimmy Bakker is Back and He's As Wingy as Ever.

Reverend Jimmy has learned his lesson after serving a stretch in the Greybar Hotel. There'll be no more swindlin' the Gullibillies on non-existant time shares. The new hustle is "food buckets" at $3,700 a pop. These are magical food buckets. No sooner will you empty one than God will, sure as hell, fill it right back up again. Somehow that translates into buy as many bottomless buckets as you can. I guess it's a Christian thing. Jimmy thinks springing for a million bucks worth of food buckets is ideal.

And for everyone who does pony up an even million, Jimmy will throw in a bucket of Tammy Faye's original carnival makeup.


John B. said...

Imagine an eternity of listening to Jim Bakker while eating gruel out of buckets.

One more reason not to murder your parents.

The Mound of Sound said...

I wonder if it's ever dawned on his faithful flock that, when your pastor uses God to line his own pockets from the sale of crap, your holy man and those facilitating his scheme probably won't get a warm welcome on the other side.

Anonymous said...

Mound, you might want to reword that. I reckon Jimmy's in for a much warmer welcome than he's anticipating - fire, brimstone, etc.


Owen Gray said...

I understand that God has told Jim personally that Donald is His Guy.

Anonymous said...

Given the way God demands praise for all his horrible acts in the OT, that's probably true.


Anonymous said...

Bakker's been on air with that for a long time.

God has also told Jonathan Cahn, Sid Roth, Perry Stone, Jay Sekulow, and Hal Lindsey, (among countless other second-tier preachers and politicians) that the madman
from Manhattan- is their guy.

I'm with Brother Cornel West, so there is a choice.

The Mound of Sound said...

LALI - I wasn't aware of Bakker or his ilk. Like an Orthodox Jew and pork, I keep my own sort of kosher house that keeps out any sort of religious extremism - Christian, Judaic, Muslim, Hindu even Buddhist.

It's been estimated that human civilization has witnessed nearly 3000 religions, many of them long gone. That means that the religiously zealous reject 2,999 of those as false religions, apostacy. 2,999 to 3,000 - that's so crazy close isn't it?

Anonymous said...

Well, of the major 3 or 4, the Messianic Jews and the Conservative Christian Fundamentalists are preaching and politicizing like I've never seen. I pay close attention to it.

Welcome to the Right-Wing Christo-Fascist version of Sharia Law. (Judge Moore.)

As a woman sick and tired of that when it's covert- now, it's right out there.

Anonymous said...

Add to my list- Marcus and Joni Lamb, who run a 24 hour channel called Daystar.
"The only Christian channel on air in Israel", they proudly announce. All the others I listed are on that channel, and Yes TV, etc.