Wednesday, April 01, 2020
While You're Waiting for that Cheque from Ottawa
While you're waiting for that relief cheque from Ottawa, here's a word to keep in mind, "Phoenix."
Phoenix is the system the Harper government introduced in 2011 to streamline paycheque services for Canada's public service. It was a screw-up then and it's still a screw-up.
The Liberal government that succeeded Harper inherited this mess and has been struggling with it ever since. Canada's minister of digital government, Joyce Murray, said that "Canada's hard-working employees should be paid accurately and on time." Last month it was announced that SAP Canada would soon be testing various fixes to debug Phoenix. According to ITCanada, the testing is expected to take a year.
While you're praying you don't catch Covid-19 it wouldn't hurt to throw in a little prayer that your relief cheque isn't processed through Phoenix.
BTW, by the time the next round of testing is done, it'll mark the 10th anniversary of the Phoenix system. Ten years to perhaps fix a screwed-up payroll system. Remember what people once managed to do in ten years? (you can pick this up at the 2:00 mark)
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That occurred to me. Phoenix is a mess.
I get the sense that the Morneau is more interested in saving corporations (including oil and gas) than desperate people.
The wait may be longer than we thought. Did you see this? https://globalnews.ca/news/6756991/bc-coronavirus-update-march-31/
“It’s more and more [unlikely] that we’re going to be able to get back to full normal life — which I miss a lot — before at least the summer, and then we need to start preparing ourselves for the potential of a second wave in the fall,” she said.
It didn't take long searching the CDC and its Brit and Canadian counterparts to realize there's a consensus that a pandemic is a two-wave, sometimes a three-wave contagion. Experience shows that the second wave is the most deadly.
I'm almost proud that the BC medical officer is preparing us for that second-wave reality. Most say nothing. Trump and Company are giving the distinct impression this is a "one and done" affliction, deliberately misleading the American people. That should be a capital offence.
.. one for Toby and Mound.. kind of a cutesy slangy 'baller' styling from a guy with basketball street cred & standing. I gonna get wrinkles in my dotage from puzzlin to recall what all the acronyms & short forms actually stand for.. so here goes my lefty jam shot, kind of a 'disgrace in yo face' slam dunk
If you served up steaming servings of 'steak n eggs' that were 96% ground hamburger & 4% eggs, the population would be unlikely to embrace, celebrate, order it.. hmm. And if the picture on the menu showed, uh.. varieties of actual steak.. a nice filet, flank, round, even sirloin ? Calling that 'fresh from the farm' would be a stretch. So a carbonized black hockey puck & a teaspoon of powdered egg for breakfast ? Bangers n beans.. ok. Even weiners & beans.. ok
'G'mornin sir, bout a nice order of Six n Egg ? Nice waitress asks hopefully .. Being a seasoned bible salesman or mailroom boy, you stick with 'bacon & eggs thanks, sunny side up, please'
'Six n Eggs' ? Wha ? Huh! Well I did warn you.. You can't sing or sell 'ninety six % ground chuck and a spoonful of egg' makes the medicine go down without Mary Poppins and a chimney sweep falling down laughing. Chim chim cheroo !
You Fail basic marketing 101 if you pimp Canada's 'Bitumen & Gas' industry.. its a half step short of a Fail like trying out 'Asbestos & Gas' industry. Hell, Canada's '96% Bitumen and Gas' industry sucks bigtime worse..
So my elegant solution for Kenney, Horgan & Trudeau Morneau & Butts Inc
is 'six n eggs'. Sure they could try 'four n eggs' on.. and get laughed out of town.. cuz it resonates 'asian' .. eggs from asian hens.. hmm.
So herein till a better 96% solution bites me on the ass.. this former National Champion baller 'goin coastal' - coast to coast bring the lefty hammer jam right down the key to the rim & head back on defense with zero showboat posturing or preening.. old school playground rules hold to 'act like you been there before' .. slam dunk, puck in the net, touchdown, whatever, act like ya done it before, gonna bring it again.. promise..
Its prime time for 'six & gas' & rock n roll' .. 'six n gas & rock n roll (Ian Dury & the Blockheads btw)
96% of 'Canada's Vast Oil Reserves' aint oil, homies.. it aint steak. Reality sucks.. and can bite you right on the ass. Canadian's need to get familiar with cold hard TRUTH. Every time we hear or read 'Canada's Oil and Gas Sector its really 'Canada's Bitumen and Gas Sector'. Our Conventional Oil Sector is 4% and is running out fast. Its not 'discounted' either.. its actually a preferred petroleum commodity.. its the real deal - its oil, black gold.. Beverly Hillbillies style oil.
This starts now.. right here at home.. 'Six n Gas' - 'Six & Gas' and rock n roll .. After all homies.. I was born in the 'Six' .. right by Lake Ontario.. yes yes.. 416 area code blowing down the lane and airborne.. ridin the wind.. lefty power slam.. so I gots 'jump' & got standing.. I got street cred.. Born in Alberta born in the 96 ? Well that's A-ok too.. n last I looked we're all Canadians too.
Another cup a coffee.. let the dawgs out..
and I launch the idea via Twitter & Facebook
'expect it' .. Post Media.. expect it Jason
What does it tell us, Sal, that the two most recent Tar Patch initiatives have been government financed/backed pipelines that the private sector won't touch? Why are we subsidizing petro-capitalism? What do pols such as Trudeau and Kenney fear so much that they're willing to throw billions on bad deals, especially in these trying and uncertain times? Is the public clamoring for any of this? The obvious answer is "no." Then it must be another triumph of the private interest over the public interest.
.. Warning.. Once in your head..
it launches a stealth hunter/seeker torpedo..
A 'hook' .. so to speak.. and not 'catch & release' no barb ..
No it gets in your head.. hard to shake ..
In your case Mound, its already in there anyway..
so it just reactivates.. boof ! Back in action.. in your head
But hey.. go big or don't go.. all in.. for the win
no surrender, no prisoners taken..
Ring around the posy.. All fall down
Swing your partner, dosy do..
I'm an adult now.. (Pursuit of Happiness) haha
and 'should I stay or should I go..' The Clash
they gave us punk nursery rhymes for adults
Six n Gas & rock n roll ... my contribution ..
yer welcome.. 'to my Bitumen nightmare ..' (Alice Cooper)
Its worth even less than dibit Mr Kenney
and 'like the gambler said.. read em and weep' (The Band)
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