Wednesday, June 28, 2017

A Man After My Own Heart

"A man walks into a pub..." - the opening line of countless jokes. Only this time it was 53-year old Simon Smith of Reading, England and he'd just been hit by a speeding, out of control, double decker bus.

After dusting himself off, Smith walked in to one of his locals, The Purple Turtle.

Stuart McNaught, the bar manager, said Mr Smith was taken to hospital but had emerged from the accident with just bruises.

Mr McNaught said: "We've known Simon for about 20 years. He went to hospital, he's OK, he's a bit frail today, he's not feeling the best.

"He went to hospital, the paramedics who called the ambulance took him.

"He's bruised and shocked I think. It's absolutely crazy."


Lorne said...

A true testament to the British spirit, Mound.

The Mound of Sound said...

Not sure what to make of this, Lorne. Purple Turtle, purple bus? And I'm guessing Mr. Smith will have a purple backside for a while until the bruising goes away.

the salamander said...

.. told my son not to expect the 'luck of th Irish' to be passed on to him.. he should play it smart.

Thus began 'the nine lives' essay for him.. explaining how I used up all the nine lives. That begat dinner or howling late night early morn samples from friends or just those who arrived with a 2-4 or a poverty pack.. or just nothin - There are large legends let me tell you.. and not just mine. The rule is that your anecdote should portray dire straights or plumb bad luck or even better, happenstance! Even nasty tragic kill ya dead foolishness.

The kicker.. is
that you did not die or get crushed or be shot or blown up or fell from great heights.. the kicker is that 'blind luck' saw ya through.. and no wisdom, aforsight or intelligence was involved. You survived - though a thousand or more others died that day - But ! you won the lottery !

Dude crossing the street - smacked by bus certainly qualifies.. blows away the odds !

BTW - my current essay working title is 'The 18 Lives'
I blew through 9 well before I was legal
& farms are dangerous places ..

Anonymous said...

Keerist! That bus was moving far too fast. Couldn't even corner in its lane.

Reminds me of the time three years ago when I was driving along on a boulevard at 50 klicks in a 50 zone. Bayers Lake Park, Halifax. A city bus passed me as if I were standing still! I tickled the turbo and discovered the bus was doing 85 km/h. Good lord. Slowed down. Came round the curve and there was the bus, 4 way flashers going stopped on the gravel shoulder. I stopped too, got out and approached the bus. The driver of the (empty) bus was pouring himself a cup of cawfee, and had already taken a vast bite out of a sandwich!

I asked him what the hell he was doing, driving 85 klicks in a 50 zone. He got very scared when I gave him hell - I've been told I can seem intimidating - and said he was just so hungry and thirsty he had sped to this spot he stopped at every day for some refreshment. I got his name, bus number, told him me dear old 92 year old Mum was not impressed either (and she was a rank speeder in her day, bless her little heart but not on city streets, the highway). Stupid damn man.

This fellow in Reading was so lucky, it hurts.