1. Don't Look Up. This is the most important rule. Look down and only down. Don't look up and, in particular, don't look around. You'll need to put on the blinders and stuff your ears with cotton if you're to have any hope of avoiding the contamination of legitimate science and the rapidly mounting research on global warming.
If you stare directly at your feet you'll probably find no discernible evidence whatsoever of global warming. But, be careful - you might not be so lucky if you look up, even briefly. If you look up you might get a glimpse of those places where global warming is already going full bore - places like central Africa, the eastern Mediterranean, the American south, most of Australia and Europe and Asia. You don't want to look at those places and you really don't want to even take a quick peek at the Arctic.
2. Don't Be Too Fussy. Another important rule. There are people and organizations out there that'll tell you what you want to hear - that the whole global warming thing is a crock or a conspiracy by the worldwide scientific community. They will assure you that the science is inconclusive or that greenhouse gas emissions aren't the problem or that this has all happened before or even that we're entering an era of global cooling. They'll fill your mind with whatever they can manage to pack in there but - and remember this - don't be too fussy about what they're telling you or who it's coming from.
Aren't you getting tired of all this "peer review" nonsense? Truth is truth after all, whether it's peer reviewed or not. Just because the experts you want to hear can't come up with any research that's actually been reviewed (i.e. "tested") by other experts in their field doesn't mean that they're giving you a big load of hooey. Remember, after all, that global conspiracy by the scientific community.
Don't waste your time looking into the background of these experts. Just because they previously worked for Big Tobacco in spreading doubt about the link between cigarettes and cancer and just because they now take funding from Big Oil to spread doubt about the link between fossil fuels, greenhouse gas emissions and global warming, that's sheer coincidence. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other.
3. Stand Your Ground. Sooner or later you'll be pressured by someone from the Looney Left - and that includes all governments and their militaries, all national institutes of science, most industries, the environmentalists, you know, the entire "fringe" group - to learn a bit about anthropogenic global warming by reading the latest research and studies and environmental news. Don't do it. They're only trying to knock you off balance.
Stick with Fox News or NewsMax or the open mouth talk shows - the lower the better. They'll feed you their message until you can't hear any more. If they can't spin something away, they'll just make something up. Either way, you'll get what you were looking for.
4. Be Strong. These past ten years have been tough on Denialists. Truth alone has taken a huge toll on their ranks. Many of the mere "doubters" have already defected leaving only the hard core deniers to man the barricades. The True Unbelievers now tend to be the shills and the cranks but, hey, everyone is entitled to his opinion, eh?
So hang tough, the next decade promises to be so much harder than the last one.