Thursday, October 01, 2020

Backhanded Flattery


Google reports a big spike in Americans looking for information on how to relocate to Canada after Tuesday's presidential debate.

Following a debate derailed by interruptions, people speaking over each other, and insults hurled back and forth, Google reported a peak number of searches for “How to apply for Canadian citizenship” in the US.

Some people seemed in such a hurry to get out they couldn’t even get the name right: searches for “How to move to Canda” also spiked alongside the correct “How to move to Canada”.

Searches initially peaked about an hour into the debate, at about 10.30pm, according to the search engine. But it looks like the news unsettled people into the night – there has since been a second wave of searches on how to get Canadian citizenship – with most of the searches happening in the early hours of this morning.

The search was most popular in Massachusetts, followed by Washington and Michigan.

Hey Gringos, calm down. It's not really flattering when you look to relocate to Canada after your country goes into some sort of meltdown. Canada is not your nanny. We're not going to kiss your boo-boo. And, besides, we want you right where you are. Americans put this jackass in the White House and only Americans can turf him right back out.

Canadians can sympathize with you. He's no friend of ours and he's a piss poor ally to boot. But America needs you, your fellow Americans need you and we need you right where you are until this guy is driven from his White House hidey-hole and on the run from prosecutors wanting to put him on trial. 

Besides, we don't appreciate feeling like we're your cross-border booty call.


Trailblazer said...

80% of Canadians wish the border to remain closed.

Perhaps the Americans wishing to move here could apply as political refugees?


The Disaffected Lib said...

Refugees? That's not as laughable as it was a few years ago. The rise of this violent, radical right makes that somewhat more plausible. I think we'll have a better idea in a few months.

Trailblazer said...

Not too many problems here?

Off on a tangent.
After a unfortunate breakdown of my truck whilst pulling a travel trailer through Surrey BC, I had to secure the services of a newly landed East Indian immigrant taxi driver.
The driver advised me that he had moved to Canada, in part, because of the clean air of Canada vs the almost apocalyptic air quality of India.
We then entered almost two weeks of Western US forest fire smoke!
What's Hindi for , shit happens?