It's Been a While. Let's Catch Up with God.

I'm to blame. I haven't been following God's Twitter account. Here are a few tweets to catch up.

In an ideal scenario, the President of the United States and the worst human being in the world would be two different people.

Being gay is not a choice but being an asshole is.

America: Where a black man can't take a knee on a football field for 30 seconds, but a cop can take a knee on his neck for 8 minutes.

You should not vaccinate your children unless you are absolutely sure you want them to live.

Next time, no people.

There is life in outer space, and it's intelligent, and that's why I'm staying far away from you.

Just because Jesus died for your sins doesn't mean you should keep committing them, assholes!

The answer to the question, "Can people really be that stupid?" is always yes.

If you can't get along with Canada you're not human.

Standing up for what you believe in is not a virtue if what you believe in is awful.

Out of curiousity, where were you thinking of moving after you're done destroying the Earth? Because I assume you've thought that through.

Six feet away or six feet under.

I apologize for this virus interrupting the global catastrophe already in progress.

Saying "guns don't kill people" is like saying "defibrillators don't save people."

Marriage is between a man and a woman. Except gay marriage, obviously.

Everyone is asking to skip forward to 2021. Trust Me, you don't want that.