Dedicated to the Restoration of Progressive Democracy
Monday, December 03, 2012
Can't We Turn This Into a Drinking Game of Some Sort?
Holy Crap, we've only got 18-shopping days left until the End of Earth. I haven't even drawn up a Christmas list. How did this slip my mind? And why did I shell out so much last week to have my driveway powerwashed?
Inmates in a women's prison near the Chinese border are said to have
experienced a ''collective mass psychosis'' so intense that their
wardens summoned a priest to calm them. In a factory town east of
Moscow, panicked citizens stripped shelves of matches, kerosene, sugar
and candles. A huge Mayan-style archway is being built - out of ice - on
Karl Marx Street in Chelyabinsk in the south.
Russia is not the only country to face this problem. In France, the
authorities plan to bar access to Bugarach mountain in the south to keep
out a flood of visitors who believe it is a sacred place that will
protect a lucky few from the end of the world. The patriarch of
Ukraine's Orthodox Church recently issued a statement assuring the
faithful that ''doomsday is sure to come,'' but that it will be provoked
by the moral decline of mankind.''
Down in Mayan country, the Yucatan, the locals understand that this is big time tourist season when the Gringos show up to buy their wares and leave their tips. They aren't digging this End of Earth stuff at all. That, however, is of little help to Russian authorities.
Last week, lawmakers took up the matter, addressing a letter to
Russia's main television stations asking them to stop airing material
about the prophecy.
Russians are approaching the deadline with their
characteristic mordant humour. An entrepreneur in the city of Tomsk has
sold several thousand emergency kits, a $29 package including sprats,
vodka, matches, candles, a string and a piece of soap.
The motto on the package is a classic refrain of the Russian optimist: ''It can't be worse.''