From The Tweet of God:
I love each and every one of you like My own son, whom I killed.
I don't think it's too much to ask that everyone stop acting like idiots.
Believe it or not, you're the best I could do.
If Hell exists it's full of people who spent their lives telling others they were going there.
I think Atheists are just playing hard to get.
Dammit, I forgot to make Dennis Rodman singing "Happy Birthday" to Kim Jong-Un one of the signs of the Apocalypse.
For the record, I AM a conservative. My son, on the other hand, is a communist.
I've got a finger on Ctrl and another on Alt and I'm thisclose to hitting Del.
You know how when you're in sixth grade and you love someone you express it by being mean and throwing rocks at them? That's me. I love you.
Homophobia is a sacred union between a man and a bible.
You do realise that when I said 'I love you' that I wasn't really serious, right?
I had a hunch.
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