Wednesday, April 27, 2016
Let's Give the Conservatives a Hand In This Their Moment of Despair
Pity the Conservatives as they face their rudderless future. They don't know to whom they can turn. Their panic is such that a good many of them would welcome the return of Stephen J. Harper, a.k.a. Beelzebub, the Prince of Darkness.
I don't like to see people suffer, not even Cons, and so earlier today I tried to put my mind to finding them a solution.
How about Preston? Sure he's old but he could handle half-days, three weeks a month.
Mulroney. No, not Bryan, Ben. He doesn't seem to be going anywhere past that E Canada TV gig. You can't pretend to be one of the kids forever. Eventually that just gets creepy. No?
How about Christy Clark? As a British Columbian all I can say is, "please, oh please!" Maybe we can throw in a gently used NDP leader or two to sweeten the deal. They make great bookends and they've never even broken a sweat.
Okay, okay - here's one. How about the still undead John Crosbie? He must have a good year, 15-months left if the Tories are quick about it.
This one may seem to be coming out of left field but what about Tom Mulcair? He'll soon be looking for work and he's what you could politely call "omni-partisan."
Hmm.. half-days.. days. That's it! Stockwell Day. He hasn't done anything of consequence for years and you know that his mind is an immaculately clean slate.
Okay, kids, that's my list. It's limited only by my imagination. There must be more. Who would you recommend? How about names and reasons. We could do up a list, maybe take a poll, and send the results along to CPC headquarters.
Weigh in now. I know we're working from the shallow end of the gene pool so the options are limited. If you can't come up with any additional names, just mention who you would vote for and why.