From The Tweet of God
"If there had been an 11th Commandment what would it have been?"
Thou shalt not take the first ten seriously.
My son turned water into wine, but Coors Light turns beer into water
Don't take this the wrong way, but you're all horrible sinners and you're going to hell
Getting older is hard, but eventually it stops.
If you're not 100% satisfied with your life, return it to Me for a full refund
Homophobia is a lifestyle choice.
If you believe in something strongly enough, it makes no difference.
America was discovered through an ignorance of world geography that its citizens have been happy to perpetuate.
Just because you're an atheist doesn't mean you're not an asshole.
Seeing is believing. Unless you're religious, in which case the opposite is true
At the end of the day, it's 11:59pm.
When one person has it it's paranoia. When millions of people have it it's an ideology
Life is a journey, not a destination. Death though, that's a destination. Hell, for most of you.