Friday, September 27, 2013

The Week God's Had

From The Tweet of God:

America, you were settled by the extermination of one race and the enslavement of another.  But please, lecture us more about freedom.

Hot flashes.  Increased irritability.  Dryness.  Congratulations, humanity, you've given the Earth menopause.

It's the total lack of self-awareness that separates the professional asshole from the amateur.

If, while arguing, you are able to cite a verse in a chapter of an old book that seems to support your position, then you win.

For the last time, mankind, I don't need your help killing people.

Don't let anyone tell you what you can't accomplish.  That's what self-doubt is for.

Pope Francis is either the world's coolest Pope or the world's most conservative hippie.

Mass shootings are a small price to pay for the freedom to carry out mass shootings.

If reality clashes with your belief, then the problem clearly is reality.

Almost nobody gets what they deserve, and almost everybody should be grateful for that.

If you think life has a point, you're missing the point.

"Working in mysterious ways" is functionally indistinguishable from "fucking up."


double nickel said...

I don't know who that guy is, but he's hilarious!

LeDaro said...

Galatians 6:7
Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.

Mound, you're in deep trouble. :)

LeDaro said...

Mound, a little chat is a lot of fun besides posting.

The Mound of Sound said...

What are you getting at, LD?

LeDaro said...

Mound, some discussion in the comment section. Especially in this case maligning God and He could be angry with you.:)

I thought you don't read comments. But you do.

The Mound of Sound said...

LD, I usually do read the comments although I don't respond to all of them.

As for "mocking" God (if such an entity exists) I don't think that is what these quips do. I would like to think that, if there was a God of the sort mentioned in the Bible, these might be more akin to His thinking than much of what gets preached in pulpits on a Sunday morning.

Has there ever been a text more contorted and manipulated by unscrupulous individuals for deviant purposes than the Bible?

LeDaro said...

Mound, by the way Jesus tweets too.

Some of the tweets are:

Jesus: Convert, for the kingdom of heaven is near! (Mt 4:17)

Jesus: Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind. Love your neighbour as yourself (Mt 22:37,39)

Jesus: Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, to God what is God's (Mt 22:21)