Saturday, February 01, 2014

Rob Ford - A Hazard to Navigation

Okay, let's face it.  Friday night, following a wake.  Rob Ford.  Lougheed Hwy at North Road, a high-traffic corridor dividing Burnaby and Coquitlam.  The two-legged bucket of lard decides he's going to jaywalk across Lougheed Hwy to hit the Chinese restaurant on the other side of the arterial road.

The RCMP stop Ford and give him a $109 ticket for jaywalking, leaving Toronto's mayor gobsmacked.



What was Ford thinking?  Did Sir Jack Falstaff not realize the hazard to navigation that he was creating?  Zounds, ye fat sack of guts!    Crashing into that guy would be like striking a moose only it would be 400-pounds of  lard, not sinew and muscle, coming through the windshield.  And who would be left to clean up the mess?  Lougheed Hwy would quickly begin to resemble a freeway out of Atlanta.

Whether it's a wallowing supertanker laden with bitumen or a wallowing, crack-smoking elected official from Ontario, British Columbians take hazards to navigation seriously.

12 comments:

LeDaro said...

He was just seeking publicity. He gets very depressed without it. $109 is minor cost for his notoriety.:)

Elliott Taylor said...

Boo hoo hoo poor Rob Ford. As mayor of another big city in Canada he must realize what a menace jaywalking can be, not to mention how it impedes traffic. I wish Vancouver cops handed out a few more tickets, especially to folks who cross against the light at Howe and Dunsmuir whilst I'm attempting to turn left with the advance arrow.

And does he really think that PoCo RCMP targeted him? Really? Does he think that every officer received a memo that His Highness is in town and be sure to shake him down? Egad what an ego!

Lorne said...

Now you know, Mound, what we in the East have to contend with; I don't even live in Toronto, but the fallout from his follies reverberates throughout our fair province.

Any chance of a kind BCer leading Rob down a dark alley on the East side of Vancouver and leaving him there? I am told he has quite a fondness for cities' underbellies.

deb Scott said...

lol, why would someone from toronto be afraid to jaywalk in vancouver. If this guy can navigate traffic in or out of his vehicle (drunk and without handlers) in Taranna. he is good to go in Burnaby. lol
I so hope Rob Ford tries to meet with Gregor for breakfast today.

The Mound of Sound said...

Kinsella has posted a photo of an extremely florid Rob Ford in some Vancouver bar yesterday. It's hard to imagine Ford would travel all the way out here for a funeral and not chug a six-pack or two at the wake. By 8:30 he was probably looking for a bit of fried rice to soak up the brew sloshing around down below.

Who hasn't seen video of Ford with the staggers and jags. He probably scared the hell out of the RCMP officers as he crossed the Lougheed Hwy.

And no, the outcasts of the Downtown East Side have enough problems without visiting Ford on them. Although he might make a dandy pin cushion for their syringes.

LeDaro said...

Mound, I was not kidding about Ford seeking publicity.Ford made the top headline in the Huff Post.

Purple library guy said...

Staggers and jags . . . that's it! He seems to be pretty gullible, especially when he's drunk (and/or stoned). Tell him we'll cruise the seas for American gold, we'll fire no guns, shed no tears!
With a bit of luck he'll end up a broken man on a Halifax pier.

Anonymous said...

Plg: We don't want him in the four most eastern provinces...thankb you! WE, don't want to be put in a position of having to step aside while he passes.

e.a.f. said...

Ford was jaywalking in the burbs, not Vancouver Now if he had been hit, it might have solved a lot of problems for Toronto. it might have sent a message to B.C.'s politicians also. They aren't that much better than Ford. At least Ford could have "dried out" in a hospital.

Purple library guy said...

The burbs, yes, but it was a major multi-lane road that normally has pretty heavy, fast-moving traffic. I'd say where he was, was actually a more dangerous place to stroll across the street than some of the main streets in downtown Vancouver.
I hear he almost was run over--nearly caused an accident. That's why the ticket.

The Mound of Sound said...

You're quite right, PLG. The Lougheed Hwy at North Road at 8:30 on a January evening is no place to be jaywalking. I'm not sure that a sober person would even think of that crossing.

Scotian said...

Purple library guy said...

Staggers and jags . . . that's it! He seems to be pretty gullible, especially when he's drunk (and/or stoned). Tell him we'll cruise the seas for American gold, we'll fire no guns, shed no tears!
With a bit of luck he'll end up a broken man on a Halifax pier.

12:28 PM, February 02, 2014


Oh HELL NO!!! Keep him away from here thank you very much! The level of idiocy around here is high enough already, having him around here, especially the waterfront could sink us (so to speak). Cool song reference though...:)