Saturday, February 21, 2015

You'll Need More Than a Six-Pack for That Job.

Well, that was the idea anyway.

Brace yourselves.  In a move that could send chills down the spine of every member of ISIS, it's been revealed that Canada is 'considering' expanding its war effort to Syria and, gasp, Libya too.

Libya?  That's that place that Gaddafi guy used to run.  We bombed the hell out of him three or four years ago.  It was "mission accomplished" all around.  We even had a victory flypast over Ottawa brought to you by the ever-triumphalist Harper government.

I know we won because Steve and Mrs. Steve and Peter MacKay and that Army guy and Steve's ceremonial valet all gathered on the front steps of the Centre Block to bask in the glory of our great victory.

Except it turns out that the Canadian Armed Forces, under Steve's management, proclaim victory a lot more than they achieve it.  But how were they to know that, by dragging out the air war in Libya by a staggering 161-days, they would leave the place in a state of chaos just perfect for al Qaeda and, eventually, ISIS to get established in North Africa.

So now we're tossing the idea around of another grand victory in Libya, Syria too, in an expansion of "our" war against ISIS.  I know because our newly minted Defence Minister, the oh so martial Jason Kenny, said as much to CBC's Evan Soloman.

Not only that but our Closet Clausewitz says there's 2,000 other countries ready to stand up with us.

"Obviously there are practical limits to our ability to operate around the world, but we will look at our options to see where we can have the most impact, where we're most needed," he said. "That requires ongoing consultation with our allies. We don't just decide these things unilaterally."

"Obviously we're in Iraq at the invitation of that government in a mission of, I think, over 2,000 countries being coordinated by the United States. If we can help meaningfully in the fight against ISIL elsewhere we'll give that consideration," the minister said.

Jason, this one is for the luxury lawn furniture set and the Caribbean cruise. Name 500 of those 2,000 countries and their capitals. (psst - don't tell Wiki.  they think there's only 206 countries, the damned fools.)

Yes, Jason, you hit it on the head when you pointed out that, "there are practical limits to our ability to operate around the world."  Your government has slashed our defence budget to levels not seen in generations.  You have given Canada a navy smaller than at any time since prior to WWII.  Our aircraft and helicopters are old and worn out.  When we do go to defend the Baltics or bring the Hammers of Hell down on the heads of ISIS, we send a paltry six-pack of CF-18s because it's all we can afford. There are practical limits and your government's neglect has been setting most of them.


Anonymous said...

Where is Jesus Christ when needed??

The Mound of Sound said...

I'm not sure but someone mentioned He's getting fitted for an F-18 flight suit.

the salamander said...

.. out of pure curiosity, we heard from the horses ass PM that the holy war jihadists bave declared war on us. Canada. Harper has engaged Canada in an air war on ISIS plus some trainers defending themselves on the ground from 'indirect' mortan and machine gun fire (not combat, mind you)

So what stops the PM from suspending a federal election, perhaps even Parliament due to the paramountcy of being at war ? What is the tipping point where Harper and his party just go right over the edge.. as if they aren't already in their own fantasy land?

lungta said...

i'm hearing holy war on one hand
and russian war with the other
we might have to split that 6 pack
morning side note
i am 200 miles from about 15 american nuke silos
and in tarsands country
about which big sugar wrote the song "all hell for a basement"
both of which i am sure
are on a russian to do list
my best hope is to be out in the first round

Owen Gray said...

Echoes of Nixon going into Laos, Mound.

rumleyfips said...

It's all them dominos Owen. At least the Vietnam, Cambodia great patriotic war resulted in a glorious victory,

Unknown said...

the Salamanders question "what is the tipping point where Harper and his party just go right over the edge" is what also concerns me Mound. Along with being pro-war Harper and his chicken hawks are highly incompetent, sometimes dangerously so. These buffoons sending Canadians off to bomb more countries could be a recipe for disaster and be used for them to take full control by postponing the election.

Unknown said...

Mound,I'm not sure as Kenny said we were asked to join the air bombing in Iraq. I thought Harper and CONS offered.

The Mound of Sound said...

@ Sal - what's stopping them? Me - and you - and everyone just like us who would rise up to defend what's left of Canadian democracy from a gang of coup plotters.

@ lungta - yes it does seem to be coming from multiple fronts these days. just wait until we get dragged into the next dustup with China. Its one, two, three - what are we fightin' for?

@ Owen - on reflection, I wish I could swap Nixon for our current gang of fools.

@ Pamela - what's a tyrant to do? the economy is tanking, his oil fields in an uproar. crime is down. if it wasn't for home-grown psychotics we wouldn't have a terrorist threat at all. we've got an election coming up. Margaret Thatcher was on her way out before the Argies invaded the Falklands and granted her a resounding reprieve. life's little lessons aren't lost on Steve.

Toby said...

There was some noise in the news a few months ago when Captain Closet told Putin to get out of Ukraine. Does anyone know Putin's response?

The Mound of Sound said...

Toby, I'm not sure if I can remember the whole thing but I think the first word was "up" and the last word was "yours."

Anonymous said...

Mound you understood exactly what I meant. Anyong.

Purple library guy said...

He said roughly "I'm afraid it would be impossible for us to get out of Ukraine, as we are not there."